Lauren Conrad usually keeps her feelings about former best friend, Heidi, and her hubby, Spencer Pratt, to herself, but in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar, “The Hills” star goes to town on America’s most hated couple.

When asked about Montag posing for the September issue of Playboy, L.C. pokes fun at Heidi’s breast enhancements, saying, “They’re not going to pay for themselves.”

She also weighs in on the couple’s attention-seeking gimmicks.

“I don’t call magazines and let them know about things so they can write stories,” she says of the camera-loving couple. “There was never an incentive to keep doing ‘The Hills’ so I could get into [Hollywood club] Les Deux. That was never the point. It was more to create a fan base so I can go create a business and do something I really love doing.”

And as for Speidi turning their honeymoon in Mexico into a photo-op by wearing surgical masks during the swine-flu scare, Lauren says, “I don’t know if it was so funny because people really were being affected by that disease,” she says. “But otherwise [Heidi and Spencer] are very entertaining. You have to laugh.”

For Lauren, whose life has been documented on reality TV for the past five years, fame is not as glamorous as it seems. She explains that leaving “The Hills” will simplify her life tremendously.

“The last three concerts I went to, I was removed by security because I was a fire hazard,” she gripes. “People crowd around you and you lose that whole personal-space concept.”

L.C. added that she has had very little control over her life.

“My roommate went to Europe for two months, but I couldn’t take a vacation without clearing it months and months ahead of time,” she says. “My friends all got to date guys who didn’t need to sign a release form.”

The cameras even affected clothing choices for the budding fashionista. She added that filming “affected the underwear I had to buy because I needed thicker underwear with a more sturdy band so it could hold up a microphone.”

For Bazaar, Conrad wore a brown wig, which hairstylist Ken Paves has decided to personally donate the wig to a girl named Emily who is undergoing Chemo treatments at a hospital in the Detroit area.

“I couldn’t wear whites or prints because they don’t look good on film,” she explains. “I had to consult a director of photography when I picked the paint for my walls because I had to have set lighting in my living room and kitchen. I had to have separate birthday parties for my filming and nonfilming friends.”

Perhaps Speidi will one day agree with Lauren that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Hopefully that day is soon.

Sources: nydailynews.com & usmagazine.com